Retro Crimbo 2023: Playlist ~ the UK’s greatest ever Christmas Number 1 singles

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Yes, believe it or not, it’s the welcome (?) return of this blog’s annual seasonal playlist, only it’s looking and, especially, sounding a little different this year.

For what follows isn’t a stocking stuffed full of festive-themed tunes but the finest songs to have achieved one of the finest honours in UK music – making it to the summit of the British singles charts in time for Christmas Day.

So, why not sit back, sip a glass of mulled wine, munch on a mince pie and listen away? Oh, and if you enjoy what you hear here, keep your, er, mince pies peeled for another, nay, very similar blog post wending your way very, very soon… 

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CLICK on the track titles to hear them (number of weeks each single spent at Number 1 is in brackets)

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Al Martino ~ Here In My Heart (1952)¹ (9 weeks)

The Beatles ~ Day Tripper/ We Can Work It Out (1965)² (5 weeks)

Tom Jones ~ Green, Green Grass Of Home (1966) (7 weeks)

The Scaffold ~ Lily The Pink (1968)³ (4 weeks)

Benny Hill ~ Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West) (1971) (4 weeks)

Queen ~ Bohemian Rhapsody (1975/ 1991)⁴ (9 weeks/ 5 weeks)

Boney M. ~ Mary’s Boy Child – Oh My Lord (1978)⁵ (4 weeks)

Pink Floyd ~ Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2) (1979) (5 weeks)

The Human League ~ Don’t You Want Me (1981) (5 weeks)

The Flying Pickets ~ Only You (1983) (5 weeks)

Band Aid ~ Do They Know It’s Christmas? (1984/ 1989/ 2004) (5 weeks/ 3 weeks/ 4 weeks)

Jackie Wilson ~ Reet Petite (1986)⁶ (4 weeks)

Whitney Houston ~ I Will Always Love You (1992) (10 weeks)

East 17 ~ Stay Another Day (1994) (5 weeks)

Spice Girls ~ Too Much (1997)⁷ (2 weeks)

Wham! ~ Last Christmas (2023)8 (2 weeks?)

Slade ~ Merry Xmas Everybody (1973)⁹ (5 weeks)

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¹ Not only was this too-little-recalled hit ballad the first ever UK Christmas Number 1 single, it was also the first ever UK Number 1 single, hitting the top spot (for the first time) on November 14th 1952

² Before Trussell-Trust-backing LadBaby achieved the feat of five consecutive Christmas Number 1s in 2022, the Fabs held the record of most festive top spot finishes with four; three of them consecutive, including I Want To Hold Your Hand in 1963 and I Feel Fine in 1964, before Hello, Goodbye in 1967

³ This novelty hit wasn’t entirely the dreamed-up-on-the-spot late ’60s nonsense it may sound, being an updated version of old folk tune The Ballad Of Lydia Pinkham; the Liverpudian-derived Scaffold’s members included celebrated children’s poet-to-be Roger McGough and one Mike McCartney, younger brother of Paul, while backing vocalists on the record were Graham Nash, Tim Rice and Reg Dwight (very soon to become Elton John), and bass guitar was played by Cream’s Jack Bruce

⁴ Queen’s mock-opera opus that wowed the world back in ’75 topped the UK Crimbo charts again when it was re-released 16 years later (as a double A-side with These Are The Days Of Our Lives), following the untimely loss of Freddie Mercury to AIDS in November 1991; proceeds from the re-release went to the Terrence Higgins Trust

⁵ Featuring the voices of Marcia Bennett, Liz Mitchell and Maizie Williams (along with Bobby Farrell), this disco-tastic take on the Harry Belafonte-sung 1956 original holds the distinction of being the first UK Christmas Number 1 to feature one or more women on lead vocals

⁶ Originally released way back in 1957, when it hit Number 6 on the UK charts and its financial success helped fund the setting up of Berry Gordy’s legendary Motown Records, Wilson’s signature song topped the Crimbo charts almost three decades later following its use as the backing to a claymation video from an edition of the BBC Arena documentary series

⁷ This was the second of the ‘Girl Power’-promoting five-piece’s three consecutive UK Christmas 1s, the other two being 2 Become 1 (1996) and Goodbye (1998)

⁸ Yes, finally, the Whamsters have done it and surely the ‘Whameggedon’ game is over for everyone for another year (at least, here in the UK), because the near-unavoidable bittersweet seasonal ballad has at last scaled the summit of Blighty’s yuletide charts; on original release in 1984 (as a double A-side with Everything She Wants), it finished runner-up to Band Aid and then did so again just, er, last Christmas – so, after four decades, it’s finally third time lucky, eh? 

⁹ With Wulv’r’amptun’s Finest – and, indeed, all their fans – celebrating the 50th anniversary of the original, chart-topping release of the forever festive-foot-stomper, here’s a very special video tribute to the tune, featuring the talents and charms of the Top Of The Pops dance troupes that were Pan’s People and Leg’s & Co.

Plus, as a seasonal bonus, check out Noddy Holder and the lads perform the tune on 1973’s Top Of The Pops (or at least in a video edited together from two separate performances that holiday season), complete with a gonk, a camera rig laden with Christmas lights and a cream pie in Noddy’s face, here.

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